“Not every cloud you see threatens rain” - 11th century proverb, from Egbert of Liège’s The Well-Laden Ship
1.17.26
I don't know myself when I'm not in motion
i made it home
maybe a little late today
i haven't been getting calls to come home, they're less frequent
i should have called to let them know i was on my way!
slow down
Disconnect, find your heartbeat
Horological Prayer
slow fury of a snail
clepsydra
MP3s
25/04/22
Anyone who wants to contribute an island to wilderness.land ?
mtv used to have this show called "diary" where musicians, entertainers, and other celebrities would talk about their "lives." they would frequently say something along the lines of "you think you know, but you have no idea," which was funny to me because i don't remember learning anything profound on that show. all of the celebs said that phrase, either during the intro or in the moment before they went to commercials (or both). there was an acoustic guitar playing in the background when they said it. kinda corny now that i think about it.
colors
deep red
black
cream
soft yellow
green
burnt orange
blush
30/03 celebrating the end of the world like it was NYE, some kind of alien-sent machine burning holes in and dismantling the sky
21/03/22
I feel the spring.
I am an adult. I'm a full-grown person and I base my identity on the things I see/learn/know
waiting on
your next
correspondence
Dec/22/25: the tempo of the city has slowed down so much over the last week. This is the best time of year: sunny (mostly), warm, daylight for ages, no work, no traffic. The flowers are out. I've bought a new diary for the coming year - 2025 was the first time I used it until the very end, only writing in things I did in my loose time (not work stuff, that goes in Outlook only). It has been pleasing to turn back the days and see what I did this year, without the pressing-in of work tasks. Excited to continue this in 2026.
Working on maximizing the power of using perception to shape my life experience. Everything is everything, and everything is amazing!
I like swimming in the mediterranean and looking at the fish. I get really happy when I spot an octopus. They are hard to spot. They can probably see with their skin! That’s how they manage to completely blend in with their surroundings. When I swim I don’t blend in with my surroundings. The octopus spots me first, that is for sure.
bitmapping life: no nuance, just lots of little dots that assemble to create an illusion of gray -- an illusion of infinity because the sky’s the limit, right? -- an illusion of depth -- an illusion of an illuminated ditch that’s really only black and white.
perspective: everything you experience for the first time is new to you. even if it was made 30 years ago. you popped a cassette into a cassette player for the first time yesterday. it is NEW. TO YOU!
27/05 'crush' brand silver clamshell phone with 2G, we were going to use it to 'crush the internet'
Dear community,
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~ Elliott
Remembering like
A thin layer of dust I can’t see
Until I
eye
Remember
A hole has developed in the elbow of my cashmere jumper and
monzo card had half dissolved in pocket
we will be recognised by our fruit.
3.10.20
today has good numerology. it is 1:45 am so it's only technically the 10th. to me it still feels like the 9th. i'm happy right now. i just ate some popcorn and some chocolate. i just facetimed a friend. i'm pleasantly high. i wrote a lot today and enjoyed the sunshine. i'm excited for the future.
04 March 2026
It's deep winter. So winter that it's almost spring. Boy did we blizzard. Thanks to my big exercise kick this year I'm still doing well in the cold and darkness. Maybe it also helps I was gone somewhere else for 6 months. School's back on. I started hosting Permacomputing NYC nyc.permacomputing.net at Ridgewood Commons. I'm programming (mostly Lua - for L5, and building a BASIC interpreter in Lua) and doing academic writing. I picked up a used compressor / limiter recently so I'm excited to get back into the studio to do no-input mixing board music. I'm still really bad about going to bed at a reasonable hour. I get too sucked into programming and working on my projects. Ok, going to go read my ereader before bed. I really love the Kobo ereaders.
Working on maximizing the power of using perception to shape my life experience. Everything is everything, and everything is amazing!
source: http://localhost:8080/jess
30/04 my left foot was a beehive
3/4
I dream of an internet full of gifts.
Questions for reflection
- How am I showing the people that I love that I love them?
- When do I feel most loved by the people that love me?
- At what moments does my body feel most peaceful?
- When was the last time I talked to my mom?
- When was the last time I checked in on a long-distance friend?
- What has been making me feel inspired?
- What has been making me feel happy?
I wish I could draw the things I see around me
仰向けになって空を飛びたい。
The dappled sunlight looks amazing on our skin.
“I am no more than a bubble bath” - my friend autumn
3.21.2020
lounged in a sunbeam inside my home for 10 minutes. i'm on my way to becoming a sunbather... 👐
21/4/20
legs, american genius, cauliflower sandwich lunch
packaging, saftey razor blades, new materials,
14 lengths in the pool
i'm starwatcher.
i watch stars at night.
during the day, i turn into a sunbather.
when it's cloudy, i turn into a sunfollower.
xo
oh wow, i just had a flashback to a mysterious online acquaintance from many (20+!?) years ago who went by "TodayNow". i never learned anything directly personal about them, but they curated the most amazing videos from the wilds of the web, and we sometimes crossed paths in the comments commons to chat for a bit before heading back out to continue foraging. i was also mildly obsessed with their ~name(s) & general aesthetic.
i remember that they also had a shape association - <> maybe? or a diamond and a circle... hmm... hang on...
returns from the Wayback time machine
ah yes, it was "◊●", and i made this homage (each box was a link) - one of my earliest ascii arts, i think:
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surprisingly & unsurprisingly, i posted that on Feb 20, 2010, of all days (on spacecollective). posted again today, now. yesterday of yesterday, then.
TodayNow also went by "InReverse", "smallscreen", "circulate", and "M". maybe they are now here, somewhere in the special.fish sea...
grief/melancholy about people who you only met as online aliases & then lose touch with, or they vanish is very particular... i wonder who maybe feels this about my old aliases...
Nov/28/25: i had such a lovely day today --- one of those days where nothing much happens and yet the weather, and my mood, and the doing-nothing of the day made me feel almost euphoric!
delightful things in ny streets recently
plastic carton with sticker on it that says "cheese"
people smiling looking down at their phone
teenager holding bouquet of roses
little kid with stack of pokemon cards
motorcycle coming down the street with giant bunch of balloons
woman taking biiiiiiig yawn
people seeing each other from across the street "wowww so good to see you have a good dayy"
people writing in their notebooks
someone bumped into me then said "watch where you're going!"
“Deciding on a username is not easy. At some point, I’ll be embarrassed by my decision and want to start over. So I used the Random ID Generator (brenz.net/services/randomID.asp). The result is ‘suc42y.’ If you see beauty in this username, it’s not my fault.” —Guhong Min also known as Min Guhong
computer is a feeling
full-bodied, earthy, grounding, root-like (vetiver)
green, mossy (patchouli)
dry, summer, freshly cut hay (hay)
comforting, subtle, warm, mushroom (myrrh)
spring-like, green, cut grass (violet leaf)
spicy-sweet, slightly floral, hints of angelica and juniper (pink pepper)
so let me tell you what I love:
oil, vinegar, salt, lettuce, brown bread, butter,
cheese and wine, a windy day, a fireplace,
the children nearby, poems and songs,
a friend sleeping in my bed–
and the short northern lights.
Fanny Howe
“Fish are like thoughts and premonitions that rise from the unconscious.”
— Carl Jung
Oct/19/25: listening to NTS (all about our love w/Harriet Brown) and looking out the doorway onto the sunny garden. There is wind in the trees. Z and I just were at the park playing on the big swing someone has strung into a tree - swinging out over the buttercups.
3.3.26
Been a minute, but what’s a drop in he bucket. Reflecting on the words from the old days. “I want this to last a long time”. No foundation then but still stone. And still stone now.
A stone at the foot of the mountain the first time you saw it.
And what an infinity we look at.
3 mar 2024:
back to say hi. i'm alive. many things have happened since 2021. i bought that tiny farm in northern sweden. i raise chickens and have horses. that cat mentioned below is a main coon which we named Katla. there's also a new cat, a tiny prankster we call Knubbis. career wise it's better than ever. founded a company with a semi new friend, called Try New Things. the name and what we do seems to create sparks in people. there's another company too, which should have started around when i wrote my last post. Nysnö. We're now a mature psychedelic retreat company. hm. wow. a lot happened in these years. i've grown too. matured quite a bit.
The Garden Against Time by Olivia Laing
To pay attention to the garden as a clock means entering a different relationship with time: as circular, not linear, as well as the acknowledgement that one of its recurring stations is death.
some things i often am:
⟿ bird-musician ♫
⤑ habitual doodler ✎
⤳ creative problem-solver ✂︎
↝ lichen-looker ⚘
↣ food-&-tea savourer ☕︎
Conifers from the 50s
Juniper by the fence
They match the rust
And compliment the aluminum
I go on suburban walks
woke up at 5:39 am, so i used the extra time to write a couple of blog posts and catch up on studies/reading. moving slowly and without intention this morning, just letting time work in that background. revisiting an old poem to edit now. saturday is lovely.
05/06/22
Order a postcard from my current location postcard.place
I can draw trees. They usually look good, but very rarely like the tree I'm trying to draw.
3.26.2020
did a workout on the roof in the sun with a special person... drying off from shower now (indirect sunlight, but still nice)
15th December 2025 - #a8603d
Trees in everyone's houses atm. The pigeons have started to return to our balcony in search of peanuts. If they time it right and they stare at me enough when I make coffee in the morning, I put a handful of peanuts in a little dish and they devour them in no time at all.
10.28.25 Listening to the sounds from old games. Sculpting. Meditating. The sunlight on the pine tree as glistening needles. Clouds grow on the horizon. Talking to @sh9h. The first good sleep of the week. Motivated but not overeager. We are all artists.
3.8.2020
took an afternoon walk in the sun with my boyfriend. the sun felt good on my face. thankfully the virus can’t spread in pure sunlight
Circular
moon
sun
egg
pancake
scallop
clock
12-31-25
i just want to live a happy and simple life 2026
The sound of birds as they whirl across hyperspace. Flocks gathering, disintegrating, re-integrating. Formless form that maps the chronology of the time manifold.
Alive with the wind under their wings.
27/01/2025
Slow morning, have plans at midday so feel like I am killing time between then. The shower is taken so floating around before I get going. Had instagram back on my phone for a min to promote something for a friend. Deleted again this morning. The scrolling in these hazy morning moments is such a waste of that time and space and feeling. I heard a comedian saying (while talking about making coffee in a moka pot) that the key to life is just finding ways that you enjoy wasting time. This resonated with me and this feeling. Instagram is not a way I enjoy wasting time. But the feeling and sound of my pencil underlining a sentence in a book this morning is a way I enjoy wasting time.
p.s the fact that said comedian thought that making your own coffee fell into this category of a time-wasting-luxury says a lot about his lifestyle. I used to hate it when my ex would say that having a nice breakfast or taking a nap was a luxury.
a special flower in community flower
28/02/26 // after a moment of near self-sabatoge last weekend, just when i felt i was living the good, simple life, i am back to learning how to be good to myself and others. slowing things back down, thinking about the moment and not letting thoughts of the future throw me off with irrational anxieties. all is well though, tending my emotional garden ... trying to forgive the little stubborn and reactionary boy that lingers inside me.
Nov/26/25: the exhibition i was working on has opened, and I am very satisfied with the work I managed to make for it. It included cast components which I had been working on for more than a year, without knowing what they were for exactly - just following an idea without pressure. These then came into relation with a series of paper images (my own) + texts (found). This relation has been a challenge, as has keeping the proposition straightforwardly a 'pairing' of two types of things (cast component + paper), while still retaining complexity. Now looking forwards again to new work yet to make: a collaborative film and a solo show for next year. I am excited!
Do you think colors say "hey whose your favorite human?"
18th November 2025 – #EBBB00
camera.bnjmnearl.eu is open for viewers. Currently showing is Pigeon Tree, a tree for the local pigeons enjoy. Other birds join then too, the magpies, the doves, sometimes a bluejay, but everyone knows that this tree belongs to the pigeons.
Lighting a candle at breakfast in the morning helps disperse the darkness of these mornings and brings a small lightness to the day. Fire on the table.
Drawing, writing, coding – things are opening up again.
⎌
lightness, morning, thin glass, teapot
time to make the coffee
need to order more before it runs out
what if one day it runs out forever? :-o
like a cloud maker
in the morning i looked out the window
the steam rising from the light
between paths
240 garfield
i'm holding a small video camera
in winter
mist off the silver roof across the way
a daily meditation into air
below the hazy buildings
43 juniper
i'm sitting in the kitchen, its square this time
there's a drawing of a deconstructed robot above the table
a piece of glass and two silver nails
the sunlight in the window
small glass flowers hung from fishing line
sending color across the floor
silver landscape out the window
dreamt
i'm walking down the alley
in the middle of the street
almost home
a small diorama
in distress
pressurized
driving around the estuary
steam is still rising from the rooftop
flattened by the wind
the roof of a school
in the mornings kids are running around
just over the backyard
its strange, all this happening so nearby
the steam feels so slow from the kitchen window
2.8.2020
the sun is touching my right hand as i rest it on my table. it feels very gentle and nourishing. it's almost noon...
On my way!
hop on the 60 freeway eastbound
go back 30 miles west then another 30 miles
exit
go toward the 605 south
exit
come home but don’t forget to take a picture of the sky
Spatial Nettles Rhythm Spirals
Everything is New, Not True, Sand Dunes
Each Day Consumes the Previous
The Era of the frantic publication of writings about slow time
Something spoken in confidence, in the middle of the night, twenty-seven years ago
