𓅯｡𖦹° 𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃 say hello ⋰⋰⋰ http://www.yourworldoftext.com/~rhizomehaunt/ I archive these logs monthly ♡ ⋰⋰⋰ https://www.are.na/han-olliver/channels 𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃 8.6.26 took a walk midday yesterday to drop off and pick up my library books, red button up tied in a knot at my waist. i felt cool and collected until i accidentally ran into a branch in front of six construction workers. oh well! j and i did pilates after she was off work and talked through each exercise until our heart rates were too high for conversation. we'd planned to play the fields of mistria release together but i ended up working until nearly 11:30pm, after which i managed to draw (day 931) and then stayed up far too late reading northanger abbey (oh, catherine! to be seventeen again). i couldn't fall asleep, something about the energy this week has been too harried, but instead thought about how the most successful habits in my life are elastic—i need variety and sovereignty within frameworks i've set for myself, otherwise i begin dreading the very thing i was ecstatic about only days before. part of the reason my daily drawing habit or streak has been so fruitful these last few years is that it's unencumbered by constraints or strictures other than that i put energy and effort into drawing each day. i've even avoided naming a time commitment, which was initially difficult for my often didactic self—but having the freedom to do as much (or as little) as i want and can do within each day allows me to move with my energy and commit to a practice. i've painted before surgery and after er visits and during a cross country move and in the five minutes i have before bed and during meetings and for hours on the couch until i look up and it's midnight. last night i felt free and unconcerned about progress or exactitude as i did a gesture drawing session at 11:52pm. all that i followed was the line of the body and the flow of my hand. each angle revealed something, every space between limbs made another shape. understanding felt possible again because it was full of delight and attention and ease. i want to return to that feeling more. 8.5.26 warbly in voice mail to e ⋰ cluttered desk ⋰ up too late, again ⋰ a kind of frantic energy, like a bee under a glass or a bird at a window ⋰ tight heat in my hamstrings ⋰ what energy is under all this movement? ⋰ trying not to lose the breath.