*--------* | June | *--------* Yesterday was the summer solstice. Here there is a music festival every year to celebrate. For the first time I went around to see. The music was good, but the fits... were so so peak... It was very hot outside but people somehow pushed through it and brought out incredible fashion anywhere i went. It was very impressive. Otherwise I absolutely loved deltarune. The feeling you get when you dive into this universe... Is like no other. ... ... ...I also embarrassingly got into Gakuen Idol Masters... no comment *-------* | May | *-------* I feel it. The change in atmosphere, in behaviour, the larger pattern. Birds, the bird wave is taking the internet little by little Cats and dogs have always been popular, and rabbits / rodents were constantly in a bit of a tertiary role. Outside of that i feel like fish were preferred over birds as memes or conceptual material (think the fish canon, the pufferfish going egh, pixelated spinning fish / tsukumizu, zako, why fish don't exist / here ! / ...) But as of late (probably since i first saw a secretarybird a few weeks back), I feel like birds are starting to take their spot into that scene They already had a few moments (think grape kun), but now... it's gonna be their year, I have a feeling. *---------* | April | *---------* Having spent the last few days mostly on my computer coding for a college project, I realized I am perhaps not treating my laptop with the consciousness that I should. It's a Thinkpad P14s Gen 2 I got in May 2022. It once fell on concrete after I tried to take a selfie with it by balancing it on a drying rack while I was in vacation in Poland, so one of the corners is scrapped and the touchpad doesn't click very well. This semester I've been taking it to uni most days very nonchalantly; It almost feels like an extension of me, and I boot it up almost mechanically. But it working for me everyday is not a given... I should be more consciously thankful of its efforts... Thank you, "Forever" ! *---------* | March | *---------* I read Tiger Dingsun's Naive Yearly Minecraft talk and it was amazing as always. Dingsun has such a gratifying way of taking subjects that feel so deeply rooted in internet culture that they would be inanalysable from a serious perspective and presenting them in a very insightful psycho-social way. It has a strange familiarity that I especially like, like seeing your home team go up to the nationals, even if you're not involved in the sport at all, you can't help but feel excitement for that exposure alone. It has begun to truly feel like spring This period has me thinking about HTML day again. *------------* | February | *------------* When the end of the month comes around, I often look back on this page thinking, "Wow. I didn't log anything this month.". I think there are a couple reasons for that: 1. I already have social media where I post almost daily (bluesky and https://gabriel.reisen/diary). I don't really think of it as "logging" though. It doesn't feel as healthy as this site does. It feels a lot more impulsive, a lot less reflective; even if the content is globally the same. 2. this has maybe turned into the only place where I express myself in english. Some way or another, I haven't been talking with the english talking people I know; and I've switched to japanese for the platforms I use. I have mentioned this before but it feels extremely strange how the words that used to be the centre of my life now have gone totally out of use. It's like loosing a part of me but not having to mourn because it feels like nothing was there in the first place. It doesn't feel natural to write in english anymore, but I don't want to use french because I don't like it and I don't want to use japanese because it feels embarrassing (the characters don't even fit in the monospace grid...). So I just don't write regularly. Whatever it may be I can still log a little now: On February the 14th, one thing lead to another and I got to eat at a restaurant at 10PM with a group of like 13 people I more and less knew. It was incredibly fun. I'm not very social, so I cherish these kinds of fortuitous developments more than anything else. From the bottom of my heart, I truly want to thank people who organize the hangouts, The people who get the gang together. Your work is genuinely priceless. And Recently… - I catsitted at my aunt's appartement - I translated (https://gabriel.reisen/slimclub.mp4) - I bought a dj flx4 - I made pretzels and crackers (they didn't turn out very good) - I hit the log length limit for the first time. guess I'm logging. *-----------* | January | *-----------* seeing it changing right now made me think about how much i like how this website is conceived. its truly good. i think one of my issues with social media is the idea that people "follow" you and are immediately notified as soon as you post anything. Even though people personally decided to follow me or not it still feels intrusive to post. But this website doesn't have any of that, you can see who updated recently / but can't follow anyone; you can have "friends" / but you don't know if they updated their logs if you don't manually check. That + the absence of images makes it feel very carefree. Literally like being fish swimming around in a giant tank, wether what you write is interesting or not doesn't matter its a personal shared place not a shared personal place Along with that; even though it's been gaining more and more members, the website still feels very personal and lightweight. the way updates are added, the commented html, it really feels like elliot's website that we've just been granted access to rather than a self-sufficient platform. im grateful for that kind of connection 🐟 ------------- I sometimes feel like what drove me to create are exclusively the parasocial relationships i was building both upon others and upon the image of myself reflected from the media i consumed. They really weighed on me but also drove me to pursue projects as a mean of exulting those worries away. Now that I'm an adult I feel like I've gained better control over my mental state but at the expense of my creative drive. It's all social media really... Once you're presented with a tool with which you can connect with anybody, where anything you do can be used as a way to advertise the person you are, it's difficult to resist the temptation of trying to tie new social links just by iridescence. This mentality is not very healthy, but if its absence entails a great emptiness, maybe it's worth it? Maybe it all comes down to the question of "is it okay to just live"? *------------* | December | *------------* I only have a couple of hours left to write something for december... M-1 was fun. Everybody was really funny. Kawakita's haircut is so cool I got sick, but then I got better I want to loose weight Next Year... I hope to have things going Impermanence ############ November 2024: I played 白衣性恋愛症候群 / I read 亀亀's blog / It snowed October 2024: I did the TOEFL / I saw Miku / I translated Kyuu / Fall September 2024: I complained August 2024: I repeated stupid quotes to myself lots* July 2024: I went to my first con and bought my first anime figure June 2024: I played "your wings my wings" / I'm going to a rave tonight May 2024: I've been checking out Kirara freebies / I like nullmeta April 2024: I went to a big park to see the cherry blossoms March 2024: I am enjoying the ground in a normal way